WW Weigh In Week 4

Stop the presses.  I just found out that WW gives out jewelry.  I got a little charm for making it four weeks and another for losing 5% of my body weight....I'm down 11 pounds.  I even got another 5lb sticker.  It was a fun meeting.  I think these little charms are adorable but I don't really know what to do with them.  You can't put them on a key chain and it's not exactly a bracelet although it should be because if it was...we could spot other WW members in their native habitats.  And they should have a rule that if you spot another member with their bracelet on and they're eating a Snickers bar or something - you can slap it out of their hand. It could be called the accountability bracelet.  I'm on to something. (Note to self: write WW execs ...)
So, there I was at Goodwill.  I almost ran into a man heading for the same aisle.  "Excuse me," he said and held out his hand as if to motion me by.  So I said thank you and slipped ahead of him and starting looking around.  Fast forward, three aisles later, I'm bending over looking at some china and that's when it happened.  The aforementioned stranger slipped by grabbed my left butt cheek, said excuse me again and acted like he was looking at something on the shelf.  I was mortified.  I had just been  molested.  I couldn't catch my breath. I ran to the front of the store.  I panicked.  I thought about going back and slapping him.  I thought about calling the police.  I thought about telling the cashier.  But suddenly I found myself in my car hyperventilating.  I felt SO violated.  I called my husband, told my kids, group texted my soccer moms.
"Are you sure it wasn't an accident," my husband asked.
I'm positive - it was not an" accidental brush by".  It was a full-fledged "land and squeeze".
"Well, I'm sorry that happened but you should've done something right then.  Not a lot you can do now.  It's not like they  have cameras.  It's Goodwill.  Not Dillards."  He's no comfort.
In my need to process the situation, I reenact the ordeal for the kids.
"Mom," says my 11 year old, Elijah.  "Your butt is still big.  Maybe he was trying to move it out of his way."
No.  That wasn't it.  Goodwill has wide aisles.  It doesn't explain the "land and squeeze."
"Maybe God was trying to keep you from spending money," suggests my daughter.
I pretend not to hear her.
"Was he cute," asks a soccer mom.
No....short and fat...squatty.
"Would you have been less offended if he were tall and handsome," she asked.
Hmmmmmm.....if I say yes, I feel ashamed of myself....if I say no.....I'm a liar.
"That was definitely assault and you could've called the police but it would've been your word against his," says another soccer mom.  And so I'm satisfied that I've vented and got some sympathy.  But why am I putting this in my WW blog?  Because...I have to ask the question....11 pounds ago, would my rear have gone untouched in Goodwill?  I think maybe so.  It's the price of my growing svelte-ness.  I'm going to have to beat off short, fat guys at Goodwill from now on possibly. 
And I'm okay with that.
Annoying man was there and it was his birthday.  He was less annoying today.  He talked about "mom issues" that made him clean his plate.  I felt compassion....he's endeared himself to me with his childhood story....I determine in my heart to be more patient with him.  
(Until next week....)